To Kim Lachica

Why, hello there - you've known me for a while now. You know how much I've wanted to not grow up, not to change, tried to change, improve myself through the years, and suddenly creak into a steady halt, then rock a few seconds, and finally slip into depressing silence.

I've known you for a while now. You know that I've told you almost everything you need to know about who or what I am - I confide in you my secrets, my amusing conversations with other people, and thousands of dreams, from simple to extravagant. You know that I try to take into consideration almost everything before speaking out, unlike one tactless kid from before.

I have grown much from a child to an individual, and much of it is actually most thanks to you. How unfortunate some lessons like

someone we know who made a fool of me for two years

&

a sudden collapse in unspeakable things

were needed for me to change. I asked you once: How am I supposed to give a gift? For a few hours that day, I contemplated, and thought of trying to become a gentleman for that person. Why - I've actually started a plant out of the soil my mother cultivated.

Thankfully, you watered my stunted plant. How I wish someone - or something, would water the seedling once again for all these efforts of you, my friends, not to be put to waste as I branch into the endless sky, calling for the Lord.


110121: In retrospect, all this has become void after four years. Not only was I working with a delusion, but I wasn't honest with myself at all refusing to admit the truth that I was then stumped. Those days were filled with pretense.