5%/0

Edit: 9/7/2016
I was having a tough time with MODPHIL and my other philosophy classes. I was so lost, scared and frustrated.

11/17/2012 12:35 PM
 
I'm gradually coming to terms with the fact that I haven't made anything out of my life yet. In other words, my life is good for nothing. I have done nothing good with myself. Even the way I use words is bad. All is bad. I am nothing exemplary. Nothing that meets my expectations. Nothing that meets other's expectations. Nothing useful. Nothing done in good conduct. Nothing impressive. Nothing controlled. Nothing forged. All destroyed. All borrowed. All stolen. All burned. All equalized. Flattened. Demolished. Deconstructed. Torn. Crumpled. Forced. "Trying". Trash. Like a toy car a child takes apart but can't put back together. All I have are nothings and somethings undertaken with no regard for following through with them. Terrible plans. Terrible views. All I've done in my life so far is to ask for answers from others. How does one do this or do that? I've not formed anything worth out of my own will and mind. I am blind. I am stupid. I am lost. I lost. Nothing fits.

It was a sudden realization. Or, perhaps, a realization that came about just like how a dam breaks not due to some major cause, but due to all the small cracks that formed through the years meeting each other for the first and the last time.

and if none of this reads the way you want to then fuck you too

Tanabata

I don't know what I'd say about my life right now—everything is what I have wanted in the past, I can't wish for more.

The problem is that I want more. What are the things people want in their lives? Every boy would live simply but at the same time go for this sort of list.

Start writing these on the next Asian festival paper you get and hang it as a ticket on a bamboo shoot, men:

I want money.
I want an extremely great wife, if you know what I mean, Mr. Star.
I want a car.
I want a house with a dog which I could give a bath.
I want food.
I want a job.
I need drinking partners.
I want a derby house.

Hang those festival papers, men! We got money, extremely great wives, cars, houses with dogs you can bathe with, food, a job—we could share,
drinking partners, and a country with only derby houses in it.

In sixteen and twenty-three years time, when we're all old men.

Oh, and by the way, shoot this to Uranus:

I want fun.

Isn't it nice to dream? Peer into the telescope and see Mars doing the same.

Adventure

The adventure starts with a sip of a living cup of tea.

Ordinary

This'll be the last of my depression - though it's all boring, here comes the sun to refresh the song in my heart.

Lyric Poem

Though the season changes its colours
This feeling will never wither like a flower.